“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.


Matthew 7:3-5


I must always remember this, especially on nights like tonight.

Here's to the new year: restart, refresh

Looking back on the past year (mostly aided by my trusty Excel calendar), I know it's been a great year. Those closest to me got one step closer to finding what they love and I took a small step towards coming out of my antisocial shell to redevelop relationships, the latter being my #1 goal when 2011 started. And sitting here in my parents car on the way to church on Xmas day, I can't help but feel like a year passed with minimal progress on my part. Some of my friends landed their dream jobs, some got engaged or married, some deepened their relationship with God, and I did none of the above. I don't mean to say all this in a dramatic emotastic deeply introspective, but only very matter-factly.  I do believe that I made great progress from where I was December 2009, which was likely my lowest point without me even knowing it. I mean really, what kind of crazy person/idiot puts work before the holidays, family and love?

I don't know how it is with other jobs but there's something about banking that makes a person incredibly self-centered and cold. There isn't much time to spend thinking about anything at all, and so in the moments we do have time, we think only of ourselves (or maybe that's just me). We can never plan our days, we don't choose our time or even our meals (seamless web functions as a great disguise for having endless options) and the end result is that we inevitably push away those not deeply integrated into this warped world. There are the meltdowns that result in a ten minute bathroom breaks of bawling and silent hiccups, but when you walk out of the bathroom it's all smiles and enthusiasm again. Tears? Frustration? Bad attitude? What's that?

In an attempt not to make this an unwieldy post (since for some reason everything I write comes off darker than I'd intended), I'll just say that I hope 2012 is my selfless year where I dedicate my mind, energy and time to the things that are true and real. To strengthening friendships, to giving back to my parents, to finding what truly motivates and excites me, and to rediscovering my passion and love for Christ.

things i want to make

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/01/homemade-kit-kat-bars-recipe.html
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/03/perfect-pan-seared-steaks-recipe.html
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/02/how-to-make-creme-fraiche-in-1-easy-step.html
http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/12/serious-eats-halal-cart-style-chicken-and-rice-white-sauce-recipe.html

25 Before 25

1) Run through each borough and take a picture in each
2) Cook a full meal for my parents
3) Read 1 book per month
4) Go skydiving
5) Read a book in Italian
6) Learn Mandarin
7) Drink at least 1.5L of water per day

remembering the times jack johnson was #1 on my playlist